As children, we thought our lives would get going after we got our drivers license or graduated high school or learned a trade. Those items got crossed off, but we were still somewhat the same.
No great lightning bolt had struck us and filled us up with enlightenment. We were older, sure, but little else had changed.
In the angst of adolescence, we were convinced once we transitioned to adulthood our mission would be accomplished. When we saw grownups on TV they were no longer searchers, they had found their place.
Instead it feels more like we are faking it until we make it. The first time someone asked a fresh graduate for advice on his area of ‘expertise,’ he looked around to see who they were questioning. It was equal parts thrilling and disillusioning to realize they were talking to him. He saddled up that college degree and spouted out an answer which seemed somewhat on topic. After leaving the meeting, his next stop was the internet to ensure it agreed.
We have no idea who decided it was all right for us to start getting married. A minute ago that boy was eating sand on the playground and that girl was cutting her doll’s hair off. Now since those kids are over the age of eighteen they have the wherewithal to make a lifetime commitment to each other? Okay, if you say so.
Regarding babies, most new parents think the hospital is nuts to let them leave with a human being. They are too scared to admit it, but they have some significant doubts. If they could voice their thoughts it would be like, “Umm, yeah this is kind of funny, but uh, there has been a little mix up. Actually, the whole parenting thing seems better suited for people with minivans and cookies in the oven. Should I give the baby back now?”
As children get older they throw new challenges at us that we are equally unprepared to handle.
Child: “Mom, where do babies come from?”
Mom: “Nowhere near this house, that is for sure!”
Child: “Huh? What about when you had my little sister?”
Mom: “Not relevant.”
Child: “What does relevant mean?”
In contrast to our childish expectations, these examples suggest that we never reach a pinnacle of completion. We take steps when society tells us it is acceptable, even though our proficiency is still unproven. We do because we can, or at least because it is allowed.
When we understand that, maybe we are a little more grown up.
K